It's Electric - My Heart Experience

 June 29-30 timeline

Oh no, it’s happening again, I thought to myself as I quickly found a seat to sit myself down. It would seem for the second week in a row as we were fellowshipping as a church I would experience several moments of lightheadedness. It came upon me rather suddenly and the feeling of dizziness would sometimes be accompanied by moments of gradual darkness to the point of near blackout. Then came this new and unusual feeling. I could feel this strange fluttery feeling in my chest. It was as if my heart was palpitating or racing. These episodes would only last seconds, and I thought perhaps I was just hungry and in need of water. Quickly I started pounding the water. I would drink the twenty-ounce bottles of my favorite water in no time. I really didn’t feel hungry, so I just tried some vegetables that were being served.  Ah, ok, that is better, or so I thought. As I stood talking it came back yet again. Quickly I grabbed a chair and sat down not revealing to anyone that something was going on with me. I kept the conversation going just as if sitting down was part of it. Again, it passed by quickly but the fluttering in my chest was still going on. I then signaled my wife and let her know we should be going. I hadn’t let her know anything to this point. As we walked to the car, I continued to keep all of this to myself.

I am a pastor. We had just finished a spectacular service about prayer, and I had prayed in the Spirit and anointed some people for healing. The presence of the Holy Spirit was very evident in our service that morning. I began rebuking what was happening in me as we walked to my truck. As I climbed into the driver’s seat of my vehicle, I cautiously began the journey home. The fluttering action was still going on in my chest. I am also a former flight paramedic, so as I sat there driving away, I began to think. My thoughts took me into the direction of recollecting the times I would be on these types of calls with patients experiencing this very thing. I then decided that just because I have a great deal of knowledge in this field, I can’t be the one who says it will be ok and deny what is really potentially happening. I have been blessed for all of these years to have good health, and the thought of potentially having some kind of cardiac event was just not setting well with me. So, I did what most former flight medics would do. I kept on going. Then my wife looked at me from the passenger seat and asked me, “are you ok?”  It was then that I confessed. I told her no I am not. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her I just didn’t feel right. I did not go into all of the details, but she knew I had had some issues from the past week. The past week when I was driving I did nearly black out while driving and had to stop the vehicle. She panicked to some degree and at that time we switched drivers. This time when I told her I didn’t feel right she asked me what I was going to do. We were on route 136 west of Rantoul, Illinois just outside of Fisher and I said I was going to turn right at the four-way stop. Still not knowing fully what I was meaning by “I don’t feel right” my wife tried to figure out what was in that direction. After she was unsuccessful in guessing what was happening in that way I told her I wanted to go to the hospital there to get checked out. That is when the angst set in. Immediately she wanted to drive. I calmly said no, I can get us there calmly and I know you will be upset and panicked so I can do this. The entire time I am telling her this, my chest is still fluttering.  Then it happened again. That near blackout moment hits me and I began to tell her, oh no, hear it comes, as I pulled the vehicle over. We then switched drivers and yep, you guessed it, she drove like a bat out of you know where.  I calmly reminded her this was the reason I didn’t want her to drive, and she replied to me she is just driving like it’s an ambulance. At one point in our relationship, we both used to work together for a local level one trauma center’s ambulance company. She would drive me to the hospital while I was treating a patient, so to her this was reliving that moment. Needless to say, I said no more.

We arrived at the hospital, and I was immediately taken to a room and there were the nurses I used to work with. They wouldn’t let my wife come back with me until they knew what was happening, which would turn out to be a good thing yet take quite some time. They quickly hooked me up to the cardiac monitor and the reason for that feeling in my chest was quickly revealed. Low and behold, as we all looked with utter amazement at the cardiac monitor, we could see my heart was literally racing. My heartrate was racing at a rate of 232 beats per minute. Now for those who don’t know, a normal range of heart rate is between 60 and 80 beats per minute. If you are running or exercising something around 100 is tolerable, but this rate is dangerously high. I looked at my nurse, of whom I had worked with before and I asked her, “Is it SVT?”  She said yes and then the frightening parts began and I was still without my wife by my side. This is probably a good thing because what happens next was frightening to me. What they were about to do to me, I had done to others in my time as a flight medic. I had seen it work, and I had seen it have some adverse reactions where we would end up having to do CPR on the patient to get them back because the medicine is so intense. I began to pray and ask the Lord to protect my family. I prayed, Lord like Hezekiah asked for more years, Lord I am asking because there is so much left to do in the kingdom. I was about to get Adenosine, which literally stops your heart for a second in an effort to restart it in the correct slower rhythm. As they prepared to give the first dose, I prayed, Lord I am in your hands, and they gave it. I felt it mildly. It wasn’t as abrupt to me as I had witnessed it to some of my patients. This was probably due to the fact it was unsuccessful. In those cases when the first dose is ineffective, they double the dose and try again. Now I was really concerned. Again, I prayed, Lord protect my family, and if I can have those years let your will be done here.  They pushed that second dose of double the amount through me. I groaned in agony as I felt it go through my body. My heartrate dipped momentarily, and my body pains subsided gradually. Imagine a great amount of weight being suddenly upon your chest and then being gradually rolled off of you towards your waist. As the pressure subsided, I took a look at the cardiac monitor and again – it didn’t work. I was still running at 230.  Fear came over me because I knew what usually comes after failed medicine regimes. Normally, if the meds do not work, a person is shocked. Yep, that is correct. A person is then prepared for a synchronized cardioversion.  In this process they shock your heart at just the right time in an attempt to get it back in the correct rhythm. I have done this procedure on people in the prehospital setting, and I again was having flashbacks to the reaction of my patients who went through this painful process. Then the doctor said those amazing words. The doctor said wait. Wait never sounded so good to me. He said there could be something underlying, so I am going to check with the specialist. Soon he came in with another medicine option and it brought my rate down to half of what it was, and I was now running at a rate of 126. With the slowdown in rate there was a new concern. Now that the rate was a little slower the rhythm was now a slightly more eligible and the concern for an atrial arrythmia came up. It was then that I was admitted to the ICU and put on a 24-hour drip of this drug bringing my rate down. However, it wasn’t enough.

After 24 hours of this infusion going into my body my rate never went below 126. As a matter of fact, if I tried to stand or move to much it would spike back up over 200. I was literally bedbound still. I was some what discouraged by this as I began to think of how I just can’t be in bed all the time. Urinating in a jug while sitting in a bed is not easy, I am telling you. All modesty goes by the wayside as you just want to be successful in keeping things dry.  The doctor comes in and tells me what I had been thinking was coming all along. He comes in and tells me that since my heartrate is still too high, I will need to be cardioverted. They are going to shock me. My response was simple. I just responded, “yeah, I thought that was coming next”. The thought process of my heart being shocked began to race through my mind. We shock hearts to restart them when people’s hearts aren’t working. My heart is working and now we are going to shock it. What happens if the shock makes it not work. I texted my kids and made sure they knew I loved them. My oldest son’s birthday was going to be in a few days, so I wanted him to know I loved him and was proud of him and his little family. I seriously didn’t know how this would be for me. I had thoughts of how I’ve seen so much death in my time and how one minute you are someone and the next minute you are a memory. I thought of my lovely wife and hoped she would be well taken care of without me. I’m serious, these things come to you when you are about to get shocked. Then the lighter side came to me. It’s like God said, I got you. I started thinking of the KISS song, Shock Me. It has lyrics in it that say, “shock me, make me feel better”.  It was totally as if the Lord was trying to say it would be fine. I began to sing in my head I trust in God, my Savior One, He has never failed.  I kept all of this in because my wife was already struggling with this.  Then the doctor comes in just before the procedure and gives us an encouraging word. He tells us that shocks are safer than medicinal treatment and everything will be good. He tells us I will be put to sleep for it and when I wake up it will be over. That’s when I began to think what if I wake up in heaven. Then it was time.

In rolls the crash cart. I already had defib pads on my chest and they fished the open connector out of my gown. My wife was still in the room as they began to get things in position for the procedure. A nurse anesthetist walked in and went through the routine questions and procedures with me. Soon the doctor walked in and gave the order for everyone to take their places. My wife was escorted out of the room. Her eyes were all welled up with tears as she was alone now. None of our kids were there with her and she was by herself now. Our youngest son had spent the night with me, and he was home sleeping and the others for the most part live out of town. I said softly to her that it would be ok. I said it as much for her sake as for my own. Again, I prayed to the Lord and said Lord, I am in your hands. The nurse anesthetist began the sedative and as I wondered how long it would take to work the next thing I knew I was out. There was a period there of absolutely nothing. Then I remember hearing my name and them saying we are done, it’s all over. I saw my wife standing over me with her smile and her eyes still sweating ever so lightly. I asked if it only took one shock. You see sometimes it can take more than one attempt. Each attempt the amount of electricity is increased, and with the way I didn’t respond to the medicine, I was curious as to how my body responded to being shocked.  Emphatically they all said in unison, “ yes, it only took one”!  I groggily replied with a Praise Jesus.  That is when I knew how blessed I was and how Jesus had given me that extra time I had requested.  Some may say that this is a routine thing for SVT, but anything can happen in these situations. I have done this same treatment with people and seen them go into a flatline rhythm we call asystole.  The flashbacks were surreal, and the thought of leaving my family at times was overwhelming. Still today I think of what I want to do while I am still here. I know where I am going, yet I want to make sure while I am still here my family knows how much I love them. I want them to know how much I know Jesus and that I know He is the reason I have what I have.

I also think of my church family. I have only been with them a short time as well. As I stated we had just come out of a great service where the Holy Spirit was present in a big way. I think of how much is still to be done there and how much God has in store for us. I know the Lord has brought me there not to be done prematurely for some physical ailment, but to work in the presence of His Spirit and see the Kingdom glorified through this church.  This church banded together and prayed for me and still does. It is amazing to me as I prayed over people that morning of this event, the people then banded together and began praying over me from where they were. God is so good, and I am thankful for His presence in my life. Everyday I have prayed as I start each day a prayer of thanks for a day not promised. That prayer holds greater significance and meaning after this past event. You see, not only did I make it through all of the treatments to get back into a good and slower rhythm, but after it was all finished it was concluded that this was indeed simply and SVT rhythm. There is not an atrial dysrhythmia, which is a great thing as SVT is the lesser of all evils and more easily treated. They then did a couple of other tests to be sure of no further damage, and they proved all was well. I am here to tell you that when we pray things happen. The Lord has truly touched me, and I am forever grateful.  I will never take a day for granted.

As Jesus told His disciples, the hour of His coming is not known, even the Son doesn’t know, only Father knows. Until then, we must, we have to, we need to be as much like Jesus as we can be. We just don’t know, but we can know where we are going. Jesus also said in my Father’s house are many rooms and I am going there to prepare a place for you. I didn’t know if that was going to be that day or not, but I knew my place was prepared for me and I just had to trust in God, my Savior One, He has never failed. One way or the other I was going to be ok. Thankfully it is here. Now more than ever it is time to reflect Jesus, because the hour truly is not known.